Study for magic suit (name undecided)

to build the neighborhood
where his house would sit
a giant hole
for all the rain to gather
the crane's that dug it
so deep and tall
could not be gathered or salvaged
abandoned in that great hole
they hit a giant spring
and hole filled right up
with crystal clear water
crane in a watery grave
from our dock it could be seen quite clear
30 feet below the surface
once old enough to swim
would swim down toward the great beast
just to touch the tip was the dare
then we became older and more bold
and stronger and we swam deeper
a deeper plunge to touch the cabin
where the worker once sat
and deeper still
to momentarily peer through the window
noticed something left behind
appeared to be a briefcase
left behind by the crew
had to abandon the crane quite quick
training every day
improve breath holding
efforts to oepn the cab door
final effort to grab the case
almost passing out
bringing the case to the surface
open on the dock.

cross-section of life right now

at this moment I'm at Buddy Brew Coffee
the Mecca of hippsters in Tampa
once again peering out the window watching the cars go by
looking for some inspiration to write
just dropped off the girls at three different schools
Ali was greeter at the lower division
she will stay for chapel with Camila
I wasn't prepared and didn't shower
hair looks like Gary Busey after a coke binge
and can't wear a hat into chapel
it's disrespectful
so here I am
and there they are
and so it goes

Tonight is stone crab fest at the yacht club
should be a raucous good time
we'll spend a bunch of money we don't have
and figure it out later
standard protocol these days

Am I having a midlife crisis?
kinda feels like it sometimes
longing for something
but not quite sure what it is
drinking every night to quiet it all down
in some moderation of course
but still enough to hurt my stomach
wife's not too pleased about that
can't blame her
neither am I

I would love to feel inspired again
period

I wonder if I have a book in me?
do I have the dedication?
cause it's hard work
otherwise everybody would do it
right?
If it lousy, so what?
I still did it.

Ok.
Start writing tomorrow.
Diet starts tomorrow.
Cut back booze tomorrow.
LOL!

Day 8

severe epigastric pain
and the fear of gastric cancer
have prompted this latest abstinence effort
Today is day 8
and my stomach still hurts

How long will it take?
I've cut out coffee too
and taking carafate to boot
What will it take?
How long will it take?
Please tell me
the suspense is killing me

Well, hopefully not.

So, I'll go another 2 weeks
which will make about 3
Then we shall see
perhaps I'll wake up without the knot
that would be nice
but I have my doubts

I did 30 days before
and the knot remained
for almost 10 years
this has been the new norm

they stuck a camera down once
mild gastritis is all
not to worry
said they

but what if things have progressed?
a tumor with tentacles
running rampant
throughout my chest

the knot that was benign before
has it awakened once more?
but not so benign this pass
a lingering devil
with a evil spell to cast

Climb on in

sip your McDonalds coffee

in your new car

you can't afford 

perhaps a Starbucks latte tomorrow

followed by Applebees date night

with your subburban friends

you can't stand

back home to your McMansion

and 2.5 kids

and dog

and manicured lawn

off you go to work

to the job you hate

paralyzed by fear and indecision

you are

slowly dying

rotting actually

don't look at your wife

why start now?

sex is extinct

loosing your soul 

you are

your coffin is ready 

the satin is cool and soft 

I've opened the hatch

climb on in 

coffee, light, and cars

sip coffee by the window
the light fluttering through the trees
as you watch the cars go by
rushing somewhere
unknown destinations
multitasking all
as we all do
in the heated mornings

just sit and sip
and think
listen to the music
be here now
not in your past you regret
not in your future you fear
just here and now
with your coffee
that's a big step forward

Nothing ever works out for me. Ever.

The baby pooped as I was putting her in the car
have to back track
running late again
as I always do
I stepped in gum
at the 7-Eleven
again
Nothing ever goes right for me
nothing ever goes my way
not ever
no, never

Their stocks always go up
mine always go down
bad timing
bad mojo
bad karma
Nothing ever goes my way
not ever
I mean never

the traffic stiffles me
hitting every red light
behind the slow guy again
always worse for me
seems better for them
a cruel game
the Gods play on me
because nothing ever goes my way
not ever
no never

Windy Afternoon

stealing time
outside in the wind
a daytime beer
before the nighttime torture
this time is mine
alone on the patio
just the breeze
to keep me company